Pain

Pain.  Why do I keep subjecting myself to pain?  I’m not a masochist, I swear!  I went to see the orthopaedic doctor today about my calf issues and I think one of my worst fears is about to be realized. I have strained both my calves where the muscle attaches to the tendons.  I have always had tight calves so obviously my first question was why now?  Well, apparently it is actually because I’m getting old.  Awesome.  The doctor explained that somewhere in the 35-39 year range our bodies change over from building muscle to losing muscle.  Our bodies have to work harder to maintain what we have.  Great.  So now I’m digesting the fact that I’m old and my body is falling apart when I hear the real kicker… I can be running again in as little as 3 weeks.  Good news.  I need to go through 3 weeks of myofascial release and manual deep tissue work on my calves to break up the scar tissue and loosen the muscles.  Not just bad news, it was ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME news?!?!  I just about had an anxiety attack.  I’m the person who won’t even let the massage therapist touch her calves because they are so sensitive.  The thought of having deep tissue work done on them just about brought me to tears. As I’m driving back to work I started to think about all the things I have endured that could maybe make this a little more bearable.  Child birth?  Marathons?  Half Ironmans?  Heartbreak?  Ugh.  Then I thought, maybe I’ll just quit running.  If I quit running I won’t need to get them fixed. I sat down at my desk, took a deep breath, and called to schedule my first appointment.  At 7am tomorrow morning I am going to find out just how much pain I can handle…