Monday, March 31, 2008

the part of your life no one sees

day in an day out, i'm up and go to work. i'm like a fixture at work. always there, always on time, always working hard, always doing my job. i don't show a lot of emotion at work. i just go and do my job. i remember when i went through my divorce and it was really nasty and really messy and no one knew except the girl that sat in the cube right across from me. and only because she would see me cry once in awhile.

unfortunately, other experiences of stress and hurt have given me this uncanny ability to hide my emotions so that no one sees. i don't really like letting people in. i wonder if that is good or bad.

today, the part of my life that no one sees is the constant struggle with my son. this school year has been the worst year ever and has only gotten worse. the only people that really know what i deal with day to day are my two best friends and my daughter. the only people that i can tell anything too and not worry. tonight was an all time low in the beginning and then somehow turned the corner and might possibly be the start of something good. i really hope so because i was starting to think i was never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. both my friends dropped everything to be here for me tonight. i can't even begin to thank them for all they've done for me lately. i really don't think i would make it through this without them.

here's to the glimmer of hope that maybe things might get better from here ...

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