time for myself

i took a night to myself and it was much needed. after taking giddy to the vet for his final check-up, shots, and to get his health cert for the flight, i came home to do nothing. well, i never really do nothing, but was close. had a bite to eat and then kicked back and watched a movie. caught up on a few emails. watched a bit more TV and then off to bed. a very quiet night at home ... just what i needed.

woke up this morning feeling good and went for a run. i stopped in the field and watched giddy run around. the sun was just up over the trees. as i stood there i realized that was probably my last run with giddy.

i was thinking last night that i will have the opportunity to have a lot more time to myself very soon. i think that is a very good thing.

monday

oh, the beginning of a new week. schedule is pretty full, again. have appts and obligations outside of work everyday but today - 2 on tues, 2 on wed, 1 on thurs, 1 on fri. sometimes i think, what the hell????

might be a tough week as will be saying good bye to giddy on friday. not sure how i will actually handle it when i put him on the plane to alaska. thinking that i will totally and completely fall apart. going to try to spend as much time as possible with him this week but will be hard with my schedule. hence the reason he is going in the first place. it's hard to be unselfish. best thing for giddy, a really hard thing for me.

i cannot go through another week like last week, so here's to keeping the chin up this week, no matter what!

Race Report and a long week

raced my first 5k of the year and as always was pretty rough. it's been a tough winter. finished the year last year with a PR, 19:04 and then went into the hardest winters i've ever had as far as motivation goes. i just finally started coming around and training after a bout with the flu that took me out for over a month so the results were to be expected. i didn't like them, but couldn't have expected much more. ended up 3rd female with one of my slowest times in years, 21:02. that will definitely motivate me.

part of my poor performance could be attributed to stress. i have had a very long, stressful week. have a lot going on and the next few weeks will not be much better. trying to stay grounded and focused.

off to watch game 3 of the NBA playoffs ... go celtics.

perspective

and it was a long day! it took me awhile but i finally gained a little perspective on the situation at hand. once i realized that i was giving this little drama issue - that really has very little to do with me - way too much energy, i was better. i almost made myself sick over it in the morning. it is so stupid to get that wrapped up in something. every time i do this to myself i learn from it and hopefully next time it won't be as bad.

my track workout - oye!!!! 10 x 400 was on the menu at 5K pace or faster. of course i ended up clocking the first one a :90, the second at :89, which only set the pace for the rest. i felt really strong and relaxed though, which is a welcome change. even one of the teammates commented on how smooth i looked last night. but i won't say it didn't hurt, the last 3 were brutal! it's finally coming around. 2.5 miles of intervals at 6 min pace. now let's see how that converts to the 5K this weekend. going to get a benchmark of where i'm at. i hope i like the result.

have a lot going on for the next few weeks. i need to stay grounded and focused. right now, i have a star on the calendar for May 18th - which i should be sitting out on the patio of my new place, totally moved, sea dog race over, finals over, sipping a beer, and relaxing ... knowing that i made it and can finally take a sigh of relief.

my thought today ... life is what we make of it, so make it good.

eeyores and tiggers

last night my mood deteriorated very fast. i managed to put myself in to a really shitty mood. i woke up this morning the same. hoping that as the day progresses, so does my mood.

my massage therapist told me once the world is made up of eeyores and tiggers. she calls me a tigger. i think she's right. but today, i don't feel like it.

at least i know that i have my track workout tonight. that always puts me in a better mood. however, i hope i don't have to wait until tonight to feel better.

unfortunately, the forecast is a very long day ...

my birthday weekend

well, my weekend ended up being quite a blast. i was able to hang with my friends both friday and saturday nights, out having a good time. i love my friends ... they're the best.

friday night was shopping and dinner, then a little drinking and dancing.

saturday night was my party! dinner and more drinking and dancing.

sunday morning went running with another friend, then to get coffee, and a nice chat.

monday was off to boston to watch the marathon. our team camps out at mile 22 every year. some run, some watch, it's different every year. i remember my first boston and couldn't wait to hit mile 22 to high five my teammates. this year was the same as past years ... some people looked good and others, well, they were hurting. the face and the legs do not lie!

did spend a bit of time reflecting since i'm another year older. i don't feel old, i don't think i look old, and i certainly don't act old. but, birthdays always make me think a little about what it will be like in 10 years ... where will i be? what will i be doing? my life has taken so many turns in the first 37 years, who knows what the next 10 will bring.

i don't want to dwell on it. my life is good today. really good. except for those few bad days that sneak in, i don't have a lot of complaints. and on those bad days, my friends are always here for me.

another birthday in the books.

looking back ...

so i was reading through my past posts and i am amazed at how my attitude toward my training did an about face in such a short time. one would think after this many years of competing that i would be used to this. for some reason, this time it just seamed different. guess not.

i was out on my bike tonight ... when i dropped down in my aerobars and was just hammering away on my pedals, it was just amazing. sometimes when i ride it is like the rhythm of my pedal stroke just mesmerizes me. i think i forgot how much i enjoy it. a lot of people don't get it. that fact that i like hammering on my bike, feeling my quads burn, mouth wide open to find all the oxygen possible when climbing the hills ... ahhhhhhh.

so, it wasn't that long ago that i said i was done. nope. game on.

over the wed hump

made it to thursday! my week was very "top heavy." gave my group presentation at class last night and i do believe we did very well. so glad to get that over with. now just have to take the final and i'm done for the semester.

i have been so slack around my house. i have to buy groceries and do some domestic paperwork stuff by the end of the weekend. ugh. i hate doing stuff like that. and still need keep packing boxes for the move.

training is back in full swing, minus the swimming. but we'll get there. my second track workout of the season went pretty well. clipping off the intervals at 6 min pace reminds me that i can still run. signed up for a 5K next weekend just to get a idea of where i'm at. scary.

no more class or meetings this week, just fun stuff. shopping for a new shirt for my birthday party. AND my birthday party. totally psyched!!!! all my closest friends will be there ... hanging out, drinking, dancing, etc. good times.

4:45 am

that would be the time my alarm is set for 4 days a week during prime triathlon training. i am happy to say that i think i am finally feeling like training again. it has been a very long, hard winter. hmmm, what a cliche. seriously, what a funk i was in. BUT, the alarm went off this morning at 4:45 am and i didn't even think twice. up and on with the running clothes. feels go to be back at it.

my big presentation for class is this week. 40% of my grade. makes me nervous. a couple hours in the library again tonight should help.

and so i begin another week ...

my first bike

i took my bike out yesterday for my first ride on the spring. amazing. you forget how good it feels to be out on the road and not attached to your trainer. my motivation for training is slowing coming back and i am getting ready to head out for a 10 mile run with the girls.

managed to get 10 hours of sleep last night; i really needed it.

as far as the rest of my life, well, things are pretty good. trying to make it through the next 6 weeks with a lot going on and keeping my head on straight.

the sun's out, again. nice.

spring is in the air

the snow is almost gone, the temps are rising, and it is starting to smell and feel like spring. i noticed that the street sweepers cleaned my neighborhood this week. makes me really want to get my road bike out and take her for a spin.

tonight - seadog home opener. baseball season, it is a wonderful thing!!!! forecast is rain and i'm hoping it is wrong.

i have made it an entire week with no beer and have lost several pounds already ... what a concept.

other than wednesday being an absolutely horrible day, this week has been good. the weekend calls for rain so maybe i'll be forced to stay in and get some things done.

happy friday.

time to take it off

after getting on my scale yesterday morning and seeing a number that i don't ever remember seeing for almost 8 years, i decided i better start doing something. funny how all it takes is something as simple as that ... i wasn't upset, actually i laughed - out loud - and was then like, okay time to get serious.

i usually don't have any problems loosing weight once i decide to do it. the rules are simple.

1. stop eating outside the box!!!! cut back on the carbs and no junk.
2. exercise 2x day. even if one is just taking a walk. have to rev the metabolism in the morning and evening.
3. have to start doing abs every day.
4. drink more water
5. no beer. wine or maybe a mixed drink, but no beer.

that's it. easy.

a new chapter maybe

well, i'm thinking i have reached a different chapter in my life. seems i've had a lot through the years, good and bad. life is good today. i am probably enjoying life more now than i ever have. my priorities have changed. after almost 7 years of being married to my workout schedule, it has somehow been put on the back burner. i like working out, mostly because i like to look good, but lately being able to workout without a purpose has been great. just exercise, no repeats on the track, no intervals on the bike, no repeat 100s in the pool ... just go for a run. and not beating myself up for missing a workout, another plus.

there is so much to do in life and i think i want to spend more energy finding new things. i'm tired of missing out on a lot of fun times and new adventures just because i have to get up and run or bike or swim. OR, just too plain tired from a 5 hr brick workout to see my friends.

so, not totally leaving the old behind but it definitely is not my priority and i'm okay with that today.

it was a long day ...

i got home too late last night and had to get up too early. started my day at the eye doctor to get my contacts checked spend even more $$$$. off to work and the fellow that i work with is driving me f'n crazy. seriously. i have worked with this man for 4 1/2 years and i know him pretty well. he is in what i like to call "panic mode." unfortunately, when this happens i feel i take the brunt of his actions. my supervisor came by today and said, "deep breath." no shit ... ugh!!!!

came home and went for a run. it didn't feel good at all. and somewhere between trying to finish up at work and get ready to go to the movies i had a barrage of text messages from the boy. so off to the movies to see run fat boy run. i anticipated stupid and funny and that's what i got. had to make a quick stop for one beer and a chat with a friend. another stop at blockbuster, then the grocery store, then finally home at 10:30. and now i'm on my computer.

looking forward to tomorrow being friday. hanging with my best friend at sebago ... hefe weizen comes out tomorrow and the red sox are playing. i think the rest of the regulars will be there too ... good times.

i've done a lot of "thinking" about my life lately. where i am, where i am going, and it seems like i have a lot of changes going on. not sure what to do them right now ... so i'm not doing anything. i am trying to just be ... which isn't an easy task for me. this will be another post in the near future ... most likely a long post.

off to bed.

"charles"

so every time i go to sebago, which is a little too often, charles is there. he is an eccentric fellow. long gray hair and gray beard. he always has on a tie, but not with a collared shirt, and beads. yes, beads ... like mardi gras beads. he teaches in the theater department and has a knowledge of literature, religion, politics. he is never at a loss for words and likes a good conversation. although wednesday night he couldn't remember my name, but then quickly confessed he has drank a little too much. that normally isn't the case.

he frequents the establishment, not to drink a lot, but for the social aspect.

charles is sitting at the bar every time i go it ... a regular.

stress is out

i woke up this morning when the alarm went off and just rolled out of bed and went for a run. after 5 days of doing absolutely nothing i think i was ready. wow, a welcome change.

on my run this morning i decided that i'm done with stress. i know, easier said than done right? well, i thought about it my whole run and it's time to start taking steps to eliminate the stress in my life. i realize that some of it is just there, but some we can choose to get rid of and the rest depends on how we deal with it. funny how one day you can just wake up and say, "i'm done. life is too short and i want to enjoy it again."

i feel good today and it's about time.

and so it begins ...

i officially withdrew from my first triathlon today. hoping that will lessen the stress and pressure i'm feeling about training. hopefully that will be the only one ...